How to find out if your friend request has been rejected in Facebook

According to facebook:

If I reject a friend request, will they find out?
No. When you reject someone, their friend request will leave your list of friendships to confirm, but they will not be notified.

However, I have found a way to find out if someone has rejected you or not.

  1. Login to facebook, and click on “privacy” on the upper right corner.
  2. Click on “poke, message, and friend request settings”
  3. Then on the lower right corner, you should see a “People who can see your profile”
  4. The people listed there are the ones that you have added, but have not accept or reject you.

So, if you have requested to be added on someone’s friend list, but always get a “friend requested” on the status page, but the name isn’t listed from the “Poke, message, and friend request settings” page, then you have been denied.

79 Responses to “How to find out if your friend request has been rejected in Facebook”


  1. 1 Les Oct 19th, 2008 at 1:04 am

    Can someone give an update of the above steps to find out who has accepted/rejected your friend request. I believe it may be slightly different with the new facebook. I can’t seem to find an option for “poke, message and friend request settings”, nor can I find a “people who can see your profile” option.

  2. 2 Jay-Z Oct 21st, 2008 at 7:18 pm

    Yes, I echo that request!

  3. 3 Anna Nov 24th, 2008 at 12:57 am

    We have conducted an experiment. If someone has rejected your friend request it will be gone – so if you do a search for them, find their listing and can re-request, then they have rejected it. If you decide to withdraw your friend request (something I wanted to do) then go to your privacy settings and block, then unblock (if you want to) that person you made the request with. We have experimented with this and your friend request will have disappeared. It makes you feel a lot better if you have made a request that you later on regret.

  4. 4 Luke Dec 5th, 2008 at 5:22 pm

    Are you sure about this Anna? I’ve tried re-requesting and it says my request is still pending. So this means it hasn’t been outright rejected?

    I’m asking because it’s a friend I still talk to, but this weird internet stuff is going on.

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  6. 6 lolly Mar 9th, 2009 at 8:49 pm

    Thanks so much for the information Anna. I have come across 2 people who still said “friend pending”. If you can’t add me after several weeks you are either a) a jerk or b)not into fb & i don’t want ya anyhow.
    I feel like the control is back in my hands! I don’t like getting snubbed electronically (on purpose or by accident)…
    cheers

  7. 7 Jerry Finch Mar 14th, 2009 at 8:51 am

    Thanks for the blog, I am writing in some blogs myself and I know it is also nice to get some positive feedback for what I write :-)

    http://www.insurancelog.info

  8. 8 tina Aug 4th, 2009 at 3:53 am

    you can see all pending friend requests by going to your “friends” list. anyone listed in the list is either a current or pending friend. you can go in the search box and type in the friends name who is pending and it will show the status as either “pending” or the friend simply is not displayed.

    or — you can just search a friend’s name in the search box for a general search. when you bring up their profile, it will show “friend request pending”

  9. 9 Linda Parri Aug 7th, 2009 at 8:10 pm

    It’s easy…

    Go to your friends list.
    In the search box on the left, type in the name of the person you requested.
    Under their little picture it should say friend request pending.
    To the right of their picture is a cross.
    If you hover your mouse over the cross it will say “delete friend request?”
    Then you click yes and they are gone!
    This is how I deleted a request for Humphrey B Bear when he took too long to respond… bastard: )

  10. 10 Carla Aug 23rd, 2009 at 2:59 pm

    Thanks Linda Parri, it worked

  11. 11 Dane Aug 27th, 2009 at 7:57 pm

    If they have email notifications won’t they still get an email notifying them of your friend request.

  12. 12 Dexter Oct 28th, 2009 at 1:21 pm

    I was just wondering this too, because when I go back to the persons page (which is blocked from non-friends) it still has the Add as Friend button at the top, but nothing saying it is requested or pending.
    However, in the search results for a person if they still have not Accepted or Ignored it then to the right it will say “Friend Requested” and “Send a Message”
    Also I believe if they have not accepted or ignored their name will pop up in the search field when you start typing it in, just like people that are already friends do when you start typing their names.

  13. 13 Dave Nov 10th, 2009 at 5:37 am

    Hi, this is interesting. This is in relation to the above. I sent a friends request to an ex. 10 minutes later I thought better, and decided to ‘delete’ ie ticked the cross at the side.

    The next day, I recieved a ‘friends request’ from her. Now my head has been going into overdrive about this. A little bit annoyed at this if it is a facebook issue. If it is I will need to accept it. Feels strange though.

    Now, I was at a dance that night and she may have been feeling the same way and gave me a friends request. However if for some reason my ‘frinds request to her (that, as I say 10 minutes later i had deleted) had went through should it not have came through as she had accpeted this, rather than a ‘friends request’ from her to me. Baffled …a little yes hah :-) If anyone can shed any light on this that would be good. Thanks

  14. 14 rosy Jan 3rd, 2010 at 6:36 am

    When you request to be friends with someone and this person did not accept you yet it shows on your friend list as ” friends pending request”, can other people see that? or this is only for my information?
    In another words, if someone wanna see my friends list, can they see all my pending requets also???

  15. 15 sukhi Jan 17th, 2010 at 3:23 pm

    i couldn’t find poke,messege,friend reques setting….can u help me pls

  16. 16 Bryan Feb 5th, 2010 at 2:19 am

    HOW TO TELL IF FRIEND REQUEST HAS BEEN REJECTED IN FACEBOOK:

    When you select someone on Facebook to be your friend there are 3 options listed on the far right-side of the box containing their information:

    - Add as Friend

    - Send a Message

    - View Friends

    If you choose the Add as Friend option this person will become your friend after they confirm your request. The person can also choose to ignore your request and not add you as a friend.

    If you are not quickly added as a friend, how do you know if the person has ignored your request, or has not seen it or is contemplating a response?

    After making the Add as Friend option, that option will become grayed out and change to Friend Requested.

    So long as it is grayed out and says ‘Friend Requested’ you have not been ignored. If the person chooses to ignore your request, that option will again revert to Add as Friend – a live option you can click on.

    If you go to that person’s home page, a message stating “Awaiting friend confirmation” will indicate that they are still considering your request (or they haven’t seen your request yet)

    If you go to that person’s home page, and the “Add as Friend” still appears as a live link, it means that this person has rejected your request.

    Of course, making another request after being ignored can get you reported to Facebook, but that is how you know if your friend request has been ignored or not. If you still see Friend Requested the friend request is pending. If you have the option of adding the person as a friend you have unfortunately been ignored. If your friend request is accepted, glorious day, you will be notified through Facebook.

  17. 17 tpi Feb 22nd, 2010 at 1:24 pm

    Bryan, what if the person you sent the request to doesn’t want you to know that he/she for whatever reason doesn’t want to be friends with you on Facebook but also doesn’t want you to know that to that extent.

    In that situation he/she could just leave the invitation pending forever, that is, not accepting it, nor ignoring it. It’s a cynical way to deal with it, but it happens.

    How do you know when something similar is happening to you ?

    1. You have sent the request a long time ago

    2. There is evidence the person you sent it to has activity since then, either by being able to see her/his wall or if she/he doens not allow that, especially if you can either see an increasing number of her/his friends on her/his profile, or, even if you can’t becasue she/he does not allow that also, more amazingly, that information shows up in your news feed (it happens, even while your request is pending, maybe it is a Facebook glitch). That is, the person you sent the request to has been online, signed on to Facebook, and accepting others’ invitations, but leaving yours unanswered.

    Cynical, but it happens.

  18. 18 Me Mar 22nd, 2010 at 12:14 pm

    Who cares! Why would you want to be friends with someone who doesn’t like you or may have not forgiven you an offense from the past. It’s now their burden. Go on with life and forget it!

  19. 19 bella Apr 1st, 2010 at 2:03 pm

    Okay I am still confused. Can someone explain this scenerio to me?

    When I go to my edit friends it says friends request pending
    When I see that person on people I might know lists, it gives me the option to Add Friend

    This is conflicting – does this mean I was ignored? Or are you only ignored if the “friends request pending” Goes away?

  20. 20 catface May 2nd, 2010 at 10:30 pm

    one thing that was strange is that I got an email saying ‘this person has confirmed you as a friend’ but then i went to their page and the ‘add as friend’ button was still there. any answers to why?

  21. 21 Tom May 19th, 2010 at 6:49 pm

    Got snubbed on fb by a cousin lol

  22. 22 leigh May 24th, 2010 at 2:17 pm

    my question is the same as catface friend has confirmed I can send messages but they do not show up on my list WHY???????

  23. 23 joanne Jun 1st, 2010 at 5:50 pm

    just wondering a bit of a different question, is there a way to see all of the people that you have requested and they decided not to confirm you as a friend, I forget which people I have requested and wonder if I did ask them or they decided to ignore me

  24. 24 Andy Jul 15th, 2010 at 4:16 am

    Yes i have the same question as Joanne, different circumstances but same deal. Added a load of people, now want to make sure i added this girl but dont know if she ignored me or i didnt add her, dont want to come off weird. Need help PLZ!!!

  25. 25 ML Jul 17th, 2010 at 9:30 pm

    @Tom

    The same thing happened to me! Geez, my own cousin ignoring my friend request.

  26. 26 goose Jul 18th, 2010 at 5:38 am

    catface and leigh – that basically means they accepted your friend request – and then erased you again. So basically they wanted to know what you were up to and then erased you! very much an ex bf/bf thing to do!!

  27. 27 emeraldeyes44 Jul 27th, 2010 at 4:39 am

    i dont think this is possible, but if a friend request has been pending for some time, and there is no evidence that the person has been online, and yet you get back after all this waiting time that you can add them as a friend…….idk, i assume that it means that i was denied (no big) but i have wondered at times, can facebook actually delete or terminate a friend request if it has been unanswered or if there is no activity on the person’s computer????? i have also been told by people before that they have sent me friend requests over a time period when i am away, but when i check facebook it is not there. is it really possible for facebook to delete a friend request before it is accepted or rejected?

  28. 28 milo67 Aug 13th, 2010 at 11:49 pm

    i hate ignoring by other people electronically!! tnx for the info!! especially miss anna..

  29. 29 Sam Aug 16th, 2010 at 2:51 pm

    Aw thats the same with me..

    I added someone and they have not accepted me after a few months..
    It still says ‘pending friend request’..but it comes up on my page that she has accepted other friend requests..

    Is she ignoring me or has she just forgotten bout my freind request or something..
    Maybe she ignored it before and is now on facebook accepting other people should i remove friend request then add her again..or does that look too pushy?..

    Im worried that she actually doesnt want me as a friend on facebook..lol
    Cus shes an old teacher of mine.. lol

  30. 30 Lara Aug 25th, 2010 at 10:15 pm

    so i friend requested somebody and every now and then i check to see if the request is still pending and it is. but they’ve clearly been on because their profile picture changes..does this mean that they are an asshole and just let my request rot in their inbox or what? lol

  31. 31 chuck Sep 7th, 2010 at 11:37 pm

    i think so lara

  32. 32 lily Sep 9th, 2010 at 2:20 am

    i cant find the “poke, message, and friend request settings” button where is it?

  33. 33 birendra Oct 2nd, 2010 at 12:03 am

    i cant find the “poke, message, and friend request settings” button where is it?

  34. 34 Jamie Oct 2nd, 2010 at 11:40 am

    well basically My facebook hasnt registered that someone has accepted my friend request. I can see their wall posts on my wall and facebook lists them as a friend when I hover over their name. Yet they arent on my friends list and my request is still pending, They have told me at school that they did accept the request lol, I did add them on my ipod so this could be part of the problem as whenever I reload their profile on my ipod it gives me the option “add as friend” again rather than saying friend request pending

    any help appreciated :)

  35. 35 Michelle Oct 4th, 2010 at 6:00 am

    Is it possible to know who friend requested who?

  36. 36 Jamie Oct 5th, 2010 at 8:38 am

    do you mean me?

  37. 37 Deandra Oct 12th, 2010 at 2:00 pm

    The way friend requests work on Facebook:

    If you find someone and you add them, click on the “Add As Friend” button. After you add them, the message “Awaiting Friend Confirmation” with an “x” will pop up. If they have not accepted your friend request yet, or responded, it will say “Awaiting Friend Confirmation” and will not have “Add As Friend”. If your friend request has been ignored or denied, it will say “Add As Friend” again. If they reject or don’t accept your request, I wouldn’t bother adding them again. Either that or they are selective about who their friends are. If they reject your request and have added 10 or so more friends, they aren’t worth adding.

    My advice is, if you have doubts about adding a person to your friends list, don’t add them. And don’t worry if they “reject” you-it’s Facebook, and some people on there act stupid and are morons.

  38. 38 casillas Oct 15th, 2010 at 5:57 am

    Thank yu Deandra!!!!

  39. 39 bren Oct 22nd, 2010 at 1:13 pm

    I sent a request to my cousin.. occasionally, i checked her profile and the “friend request pending” was the subsitute for add as friend… however i looked her up tonight and it said add “as friend”. my other cousin who said she was waiting for an acceptance was added but I wasn’t…
    This annoys me that that bitch didnt add me. she horrible!
    So guys thats the way to know. at least if she didnt check hte ignore friend request, I would have felt a bit better!

  40. 40 feride Oct 31st, 2010 at 3:58 pm

    ich finde dass nicht,wo ist das?

    ^^

  41. 41 Paula Ward Nov 8th, 2010 at 8:11 pm

    It’s even more telling when your friend request is accepted, but no response ever given to posts on their wall. I’ve had that happen a couple of times. They were too polite to deny my request, as we have a couple of mutual friends, but will not respond directly in any way. It hurts, but it happens. Kind of like high school all over again.

  42. 42 explain Nov 17th, 2010 at 4:37 am

    can anyone tell me how I can see this on a normal facebook account in Europe ? because the way described above does not exist on my profile. I forgot whether I really added someone.

  43. 43 cruz Dec 19th, 2010 at 12:25 am

    I sent a friend request to somebody and then i got a notification saying that they accepted it but wen i look on my friends list thier not there and im not on theirs what hapened

  44. 44 Egos Jan 3rd, 2011 at 1:47 pm

    Wow! I must tell all of you that I am stunned on how society has evolved in the way we communicate among ourselves. I have no Facebook, “Bodybook”, My Space, “YourSpace” or Twitter accounts. I have a tough enough time keeping up with my personal and work e-mail accounts since most of the e-mails come from companies that I buy from and those who sell my information to those who are trying to expand their marketplace. It is sad that people spend more time playing with their computers and social accounts making “friends” with people they either hardly know or don’t know at all when they can be utilizing that time with their spouses and children or on work for that matter. It is no wonder that the divorce rate is up, people spend so much time digging up the past that they buried long ago, they should concentrate on today and those who are in their lives right now. Then there are those who try to build their egos by showing the world how many “friends” they have or posting a photo of themselves that borderlines pornographic content because they lack the self esteem of just being themselves. It’s comical some of the comments, it reminds me of the high school dances when someone gets rejected, is it really that important to you that someone denied or did not respond to your “friendship request”? Pretty sad……..

    I know there are those who will comment on this post as for me being a friendless loser, go ahead if it makes you feel good about yourself. I will not defend myself by letting you know my business and who my friend are, you all have enough people on your Facebook accounts to bash and comment about that you don’t need me for entertainment purpose. All I would like to say to all of you is this: Don’t let the internet control your lives and take you away from what is real, be content on who you are and not so insecure that you have to tell the world your business, especially when it is more than likely a build-up of yourself from your eyes.

  45. 45 Brent Jan 21st, 2011 at 1:31 pm

    I agree with you totally Egos. I don’t know whether we should depend on impressions online or in real life for that matter; it’s blurring even more.
    Do you mind if I know how old you are, Egos?

  46. 46 vishwajeet Jan 26th, 2011 at 9:55 pm

    plz i wanna her so plz help me

  47. 47 daddy Feb 17th, 2011 at 8:45 am

    facebook can suck my cock, so can the world.

  48. 48 cathy Mar 30th, 2011 at 7:10 pm

    i sent a friend reqest and they accepted but when I try to login to there page it tells me the page is not found what happened.

  49. 49 unfreinded Apr 9th, 2011 at 3:24 pm

    They delted there facebook page and probably created another one, or there spouse was pissed and ordered them to delete its happened to me, sent freind requests to old friends back in high school and they never responeded just snubbed me kind of sucks, not kind of really sucks

  50. 50 Alana Apr 14th, 2011 at 6:43 pm

    Thanks for the info everyone.

    I added someone I have feelings for about 2 weeks ago. My request is still pending. I have noticed that he’s been on facebook recently – adding other friends and changing his profile pic.

    I just don’t get it. He seemed to like me as well. We met at choir. I don’t get why it’s so hard for him to choose an option – either accept the damn friend request or reject it. Simple. Why does he have to leave me in limbo?!

    Anyway, I just wanted to say to Deandra that you have a beautiful name. I’ve never heard of it before but I like it! :)

  51. 51 Elaine Apr 17th, 2011 at 7:34 am

    Alana, I have the same situation as you. My friends and I added her on facebook, but she accepted all my friends’ request except me. I’m wondering,if she rejected my friend request, then she should not be appearing on my homepage. But why I can see her adding other friends and changing profile pic? Can someone tell me what is wrong? Thanks^^

  52. 52 jacqui Apr 17th, 2011 at 12:00 pm

    hi, can anyone tell me how you can find out who (non friends) has been looking at your facebook page?

  53. 53 patty May 21st, 2011 at 6:43 pm

    ok so this is my scenerio.
    yesterday i tried adding someone, and i though i did, but im not sure if i did or dint because it’s still showing “add as a friend” how can i be certain i sent out that freind request or not to know if i was denied or not depending on if i really left it!

  54. 54 johngrender May 22nd, 2011 at 8:21 am

    Hey, amazing post!
    I don’t know if you know but you could find some great tips on how to pick up girls on Facebook on http://www.tonysfbseduction.com/

  55. 55 Lori Jun 5th, 2011 at 12:31 am

    Ok, I sent out a friend request to this person an he’s been on online, altho he hasnt added me yet, but his post is showin up on my wall (which I can’t comment to, cuz he’s not my friend yet)…

    Im confused…/8

    Lori

  56. 56 Lori Jun 5th, 2011 at 1:11 am

    My bad, I meant,

    “Ok, I sent out a friend request to this person an he’s been on online, altho he hasnt added me yet, but his post is showin up on my THREAD, not my wall..lol (which I can’t comment to, cuz he’s not my friend yet)…”

    Im confused…/8

    Lori

  57. 57 bb Jun 8th, 2011 at 5:34 am

    How I can see all the friend requests that I ever made ?!!

  58. 58 kris Aug 2nd, 2011 at 8:02 pm

    I’m with johngrender on this one, I can’t remember if my request went through or not. And I don’t want to seem like a psycho. FB could make life a lot easier by just saying “hey, you’re denied” If the person wanted to be cordial they’d just ignore it and leave it pending forever.

  59. 59 erin Sep 11th, 2011 at 3:40 pm

    facebook has updated and changed, so does anyone know how to show your pending requests now?

  60. 60 TheWonder Sep 27th, 2011 at 3:30 am

    Okey..this actually a question. If I click on Friend Request Sent after clicking on Add As Friend at their profile,what will happen? Some says it has no effect,but I need a solid answer. Thanks!

  61. 61 margaret mathes Oct 5th, 2011 at 9:00 pm

    theres a girl wanted me as a friend so i didnt except her, by golly shes on my friends list. how do i get her off my list? i dont have a poke on my page either, everybody else does, how come i dont?

  62. 62 margaret mathes Oct 5th, 2011 at 9:01 pm

    well how come everyone else has a poke, i want a poke on my page.

  63. 63 margaret mathes Oct 5th, 2011 at 9:04 pm

    i want a poke button on my home page, or is that to much to ask of you all?

  64. 64 margaret mathes Oct 5th, 2011 at 9:06 pm

    and i dont have a post on my wall either, you think it cost too much to get one of those to?

  65. 65 njusa Oct 16th, 2011 at 4:43 pm

    Please, I need help…
    I had friend request , and I deleted it , I click “not now” option.
    Is there any possibility to see again that request or any possibility to change it and confirm that request??? I would like to know if is anything I can do to find that request and confirm that request (instead I click “not now”)..???
    Thank you

  66. 66 adam Oct 17th, 2011 at 10:51 am

    hello, i just wanted to know, all the friend requests i have sent out, how i can cancel them all now, because i have sent a bunch out, since i have had fb, and some accept some ignore so i wondered is there an option where it shows all pending friend requests so i can now cancel them all. it’s kind of like cleaning your fb, i read somewhere that there was a tool here: http://apps.facebook.com/friendrequests that cleans up all your friend requests u have sent out. also is the a way of finding out who friend requested who, that goes for me and also i want to know who my friend has aswell thanku

  67. 67 ILoveMyHair14 Mar 10th, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    So……there is this guy, I’ve known him ever since I was a toddler and his name is Ben. I have feelings for him (even though we don’t know each other that well, since we don’t really talk to each other) and I sent him a friend request on Facebook. Anyway, I looked on his wall and it said that he hasn’t been on Facebook for weeks, so I waited patiently, thinking that he must be coming back on Facebook sometime soon, and he did. But I didn’t know about it until I started seeing all these “Recent activities” coming up on his wall, I saw this thing that said “Ben and Sophie are now friends” and I was quite angry, she sent him a fiend request and he accepted it, but not mine?! When someone has sent you a friend request, the little “1″ comes up next to the friend requests icon and takes you to you list of friend requests that have been sent so he obviously has something against me or just don’t like me. So I just deleted the friend request that I sent him so he can sod off. It’s his loss, I believe I am a lovely friend to have on Facebook, I’m on it regularly (so people can chat with me everyday) I love to chat and I do lots of cool things. Ben’s a jerk so I’m not going to send him anymore friend requests, I waited 2 weeks for him to be “on Facebook” well, so I thought p, but then I realised that he actually was going on Facebook but I was actually waiting 2 weeks for him to accept my friend request. Jerk.

  68. 68 PATRICK Mar 13th, 2012 at 8:10 pm

    MY FACEBOOK REQUEST FRIENDS IS NOT WORK OM FACEBOOK

  69. 69 PATRICK Mar 13th, 2012 at 8:11 pm

    I AM PAT BRENNAN
    REQUEST IS NOT WORK

  70. 70 Daniel May 28th, 2012 at 2:58 pm

    I would like to know, if there is a way that I can find a list of all requests that I have made to others for friends.
    Every time I make a request, does it appear anywhere?

    Thanks

  71. 71 Juju Jun 1st, 2012 at 4:33 pm

    My first cousin and his wife rejected my friend request. I was pathetic and sent them another because I figured it must have been by mistake….still no response. It really hurts my feelings because I dont have the sligtest idea as to why they didnt add me. I have never had a falling out or any problem with either of them. It makes me wonder if I am just an emberassment to them. Is it possible that they cant add anymore friends due to the fact that they have the maximum amount?

  72. 72 william Jun 10th, 2012 at 11:29 am

    If someone has denied your friend request will they still see the messages you sent them ?

  73. 73 william Jun 10th, 2012 at 11:31 am

    If someone has denied your friend request will they still see messages you sent them ?

  74. 74 Barbara Jun 17th, 2012 at 9:45 am

    Just to answer a different question in this discussion: if you send someone a friend request and then delete your request, they will still know that you made the request IF they have email notification turned on for ‘new friend requests’. The email notification gets sent as soon as the friend request is made.

  75. 75 william Jun 21st, 2012 at 12:36 pm

    yeh but will they still see your messges ???

  76. 76 william Jun 21st, 2012 at 12:39 pm

    if someone doesnt except your frined request will your messages be sent !?!?!?!?

  77. 77 habtemichael Nov 18th, 2012 at 6:09 pm

    i wohnt say you tanks ann I SOLV MAY PROBLOM

  78. 78 ALI BALOCH Dec 7th, 2012 at 6:38 am
  79. 79 remove google plus android Apr 9th, 2014 at 11:08 pm

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